happylife

"24"

As I can't still walk, I'm spending most of my time in my room. It's nothing but boring that you have to stay in your room just lying down on bed. I found a little entertainment. I'm watching DVDs with my lap-top computer. "24" is an American TV drama series. It's a story about incidents on the day of the the Presidential election. The story runs on real time, that is there are no flash back scenes and just some things happen in a real time scale which makes the whole story to be very speedy and thrilling. It's such thrilling suspense that I can't help tensing my muscles. I don't think this film is good for my recovery but at least I can forget the pain while I'm watching it.

Cannot sleep!

It's 3:00 am in Japan and I'm completely awaken. I went to bed before 12:00 am last night and had a short sleep. I had a bad dream and the backache woke me up at this time of midnight. I hate this time zone because everyone is sleeping and I feel lonely. I heard that around this time before daybreak, both the body and the mind go down to the lowest level and most people finish their lives between 3:00 and 5:00 in the morning. I really understand it. In order to avoid my negative mind, I'm thinking about calling to my friends in Vancouver where it is 10:00 am yesterday.

Wasted air tickets

I was thinking about going to Hanoi in Vietnam this month. I should have been enjoying traveling now. But the backache attacked me less than one week before the departure date. So I have wasted my air tickets which were discount tickets and not refundable. I am spending all of my time in my dusty room in Tokyo instead of warm air of Hanoi. I feel very sad, but I try to think that this is a test for me to enjoy my life in any cases. If I could enjoy this painful situation my happy life would be more stable and strong. Every thing is in my mind.

The really important thing

The condition of my backache is getting better very gradually. It seems to be stepping three steps forward and two steps backward. At first I couldn't even sit down on a chair, but now I can face toward my lap-top computer for a very short time. Unfortunately I can't walk even 20 meters yet, but it is enough to take a round trip to the washroom in my house. The doctor said to me to keep a complete rest. I don't know exactly what that means. Should I always keep lying down on the bed? If so, it is a hell for me because my muscles are shrinking painfully. While the pain is overwhelming me, I can't do anything. And when it went away for sometime, I really think that health is the most important thing. I won't forget it that without health I can never live a happy life. I have to be more careful for my health. I have to accept that I'm not young and I can't overwork.

Reason for the long break

I couldn't keep this blog for more than a week because of my health problem. My backache came back abain about two weeks ago and the most serious pain atacked me last Thursday. It was as if I were penetrated with a thick needle in my backbone. And it wasn't the end but the begining of the hardship which I have never experienced. Although the penetrating pain ceised now, dull and heavy pain has been anoying me day and night for more than a week. I cannot even sleep. All I can do is lying on bed and struggling against the pain. This is the worst time in my life. I hope I would recover as soon as possible.